he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
