He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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