Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
