SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
