she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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