we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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