butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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