...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
