i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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