I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
