The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
