I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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