Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
