He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
