My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
