Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
