Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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