I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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