Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
