No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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