we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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