Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
