i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
