had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
