check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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