Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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