i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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