your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
