Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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