Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
