community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
