i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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