Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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