He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
