You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
