He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
