I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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