Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
