Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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