I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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