Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
