We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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