Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
