Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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