I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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