Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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