Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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