do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
