to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
