Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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