no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
