Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
