i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
