Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
