she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize