So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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