apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
