Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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