What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's shark week go big or go home
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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