so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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