the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
