Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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