Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
