I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
