he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
