She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
