Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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